How Grief is Like (and Nothing Like) Labor

How Grief is Like Labor:

You are repeatedly caught up in swells that you cannot control, stop, or get out of. The pain overtakes your brain and body and all you can do is just feel it until it stops.

You have no choice but to go through it. There is no way out but through.

You feel at some point(s) that you simply cannot do it anymore, cannot survive this amount of pain.

There is no one that can go through your grief for you.

How Grief is Nothing Like Labor:

In labor, it is up to you and the baby. In grief, you are alone.

Labor gets more intense the closer you get to giving birth. Grief is more intense in the beginning, then spaces out to catch you unexpectedly as time passes.

At the end of labor, you are rewarded with almost total pain cessation. There is no end to grief.

In labor, you are giving birth to new life. In grief, you are lost in a life that can never be recovered.

In labor, you are working towards a definite goal. In grief, you are working without any goal or purpose. Grief is not productive. It simply is.

At the end of labor, you are rewarded with that which makes all of the pain infinitely worth it: a baby. There is no end to grief and there is no reward to grief. There is only the continuum.