When they told me that Lizzy was brain dead and there was no hope of her coming back, there were still things that I needed to do as her mother, and that I felt she still needed from me. I needed to lie down and hold her while the switched off the life support machine….
Lizzy will never break a bone, pull a muscle, or throw out her back. Lizzy will never have a best friend betray her. Lizzy will never slam the door in my face and say, “I hate you, Mom!” Lizzy will never smoke cigarettes, try drugs, or become an alcoholic. Lizzy will never have her heart…
When I was in grade school, there was a hymn that we would sing at mass called “Morning has Broken.” The lyrics go something like this: “Morning has broken like the first morningBlackbird has spoken like the first birdPraise for the singingPraise for the morningPraise for them springing fresh from the world Sweet the rain’s…
I gave birth to Cecilia Amaris Brighde at 2:42 am on May 5, 2019, and her birth was a pretty effective anesthetic for Lizzy’s death. For about a day. Cecilia’s birthday was a day of grace and light and even some joy for me. It was also a day during which I felt that Lizzy…
Since my two-year old daughter, Lizzy, died nearly a month ago, I have felt as though I am nothing more than a flayed, inhuman remnant of what and who I was before. I no longer know myself, nor do I know or have conviction in anything that I did before her death. I feel I…
I do not know how to start this or what to say. I am reaching out because despair is so close a companion these days, and I am desperate to connect with someone who has suffered a loss like mine. Nearly a month ago, my two-year old daughter, Lizzy, died. She had a cold and…