The day that we arrived at Children’s Hospital, my younger sister gave me one of the socks that Lizzy had been wearing that morning to hold and stroke since I could no longer touch my baby, who had been surrounded by teams of medical professionals all day. That little sock was what I had of…
“Although we know that after such a loss the acute state of mourning will subside, we also know we shall remain inconsolable and will never find a substitute. No matter what may fill the gap, even if it be filled completely, it nevertheless remains something else. And actually that is how it should be. It…
A year ago yesterday was my husband’s and my sixth anniversary, making yesterday our seventh if we were not separated. A year ago yesterday, I told him I wanted us to go to the aquarium as a family (him, me, and Lizzy) and then out to dinner afterwards. We did and had a fantastic day….
Yes, writing this hurts. But the thought of one day losing the acuity of these memories hurts more. Lizzy, only a few months old, bathed in sunlight. She’s naked except for a diaper. We have just woken up. Smiling, she talks to me, and I talk to her. I take a video. Lizzy, only a…
In her short life, I took my Lizzy to the zoo three times. The first time, she was no more than 3 months old and spent most of the time napping against my chest in her Boba wrap. The second time, she was 6 months old, and the amount that she was able to engage…
The sun was a brilliant orange disc, shooting streaks of pink and gold across a sky in which clouds were just an afterthought. The light danced and sparkled, skipping across the glistening waves, as the jet ski spun through the warm water, leaving a trail of white foam behind us. I wrapped my arms tighter…